Ghost dogs and linear time
Goodbye, September! take your prequels and serial killer shows with you
I am back from my summer hiatus, which started in May and went until October, because I need to tell you about the most important show on television.
The most important show on television
PHANTOM PUPS (Netflix)
“A young boy and his family move into a haunted home, where he meets three adorable ghost pups and tries to help them turn back into real dogs.”
I am sputtering, I am incoherent, I don’t know where to begin. The title and show description already had me hooked but then episode one casually drops the info that these dogs were “tricked” into becoming ghosts. You can trick animals into becoming ghosts and also there is apparently a mechanism to unghostify them! I was struggling with the mere fact that ghosts existed, I cannot absorb this.
This Canadian show is pretty cute, which is unfortunate because I do think the parents deserve a gruesome comeuppance for moving their very young children into a falling-down death trap, sight unseen, and then immediately leaving them there alone. The ghosts are a minor threat compared to faulty electrical wires and rotting floors. The description implies there is a boy protagonist but there are a few scrappy girls as well, including a younger sister who is the first to see the ghost pups and the granddaughter of the dog séance medium (…yes) who opens the portal that causes the trouble. I was not expecting the show’s villain to be a dog, but that is pure creatureism on my part.
Two very good ongoing shows that I’ve paused watching so I can binge them
The Patient (Hulu)- Domnhall Gleeson is a serial killer who kidnaps a psychologist (Steve Carrell) to get help with his murderous urges. By the creator of The Americans, the show is a two-hander with a tight, stressful premise and a great use of Carrell, who is sometimes tricky to cast. It’s released weekly but the episodes are SHORT for this type of show and they end on cliffhangers so I think it would make a better binge.
Bad Sisters (Apple)- You FOOLS, why are you always sleeping on Apple TV. I have been loving this show about four Irish sisters who are increasingly concerned about their fifth sister, who is drowning in a relationship with an emotional abuser. Once one sister jokes that the only solution is to kill him, a door is opened that they decide not to shut. It’s got a great cast but Sharon Horgan is the standout as the eldest sister, who took on a maternal role to the others after the death of their parents. Like the show itself, she’s funny and warm and heartbreaking all at once. The husband is as vile as the sisters are loving and well deserves his eventual end, the exact details of which are kept secret. It’s a lot of fun but with a real emotional weight to it.
This is not a review but a complaint about prequels
Lord of the Rings: Now With More Rings (Amazon) - Someone out there said “What if basically immortal elf warrior Galadriel once had a bunch of boys be mean to her and steal her toy?” and they shot it and put it on screen. How did this person not immediately die of embarrassment, as I almost did just watching it? The first episode at least moves quickly past that point but then it keeps moving quickly - years pass, a great war is fought, brother dies, more war, voiceover voiceover. If you need to summarize a century in voiceover, shouldn’t the show just BE about that century? I’m so tired of the need to backstory and overexplain every little thing! Not everything is a plot hole or in need of fleshing out.
I’m going to try again because it looks great (you can see all that Amazon money at work, unlike with Wheel of Time), people I know love it, and I want to support fantasy that is not about making women miserable, but I am also going to try again because the right-wing complaints about casting make me mad. This has been discussed to death but something is deeply wrong with people complaining about actors of color performing in fantasy adaptations.
Like:
I obviously believe that valid criticisms exist about the constant remakes, reboots, and adaptations that we are getting, but “characters of color exist” is not one of them.
Network shows are looking grim this year!
Quantum Leap - WHO was a bigger Quantum Leap fan than I??? But I am afraid of this sequel/reboot because I read an interview where they said 1. instead of a friend hologram like Al, it’s going to be his fiance leading him through the leaps, which strikes me as a much more depressing choice 2. they’re going to get more into the team behind the leaps at home, which, once again, STOP OVER-EXPLAINING EVERYTHING. I DO NOT CARE.
Monarch - I assume this will be canceled by the time I hit publish. A soapy network drama about country musicians? Let Nashville lie in its grave.
So Help Me Todd - Skylar Austin from Pitch Perfect and Marcia Gay Harden working together as mother and son, investigator and lawyer. Marcia Gay Harden’s been in some good sitcoms (Trophy Wife!!) but So Help Me Todd probably isn’t one of them.
The returning network shows are great though
Abbott Elementary and Ghosts are back!
Fine, let’s talk about that other September prequel
Andor (Disney) - Seriously, am I experiencing linear time differently than Hollywood? I am an adult so Rogue One is my favorite of the recent Star Wars movies but it never occurred to me that that prequel needed a prequel.
I actually am excited for this though because I did love Rogue One and the reviews make it sound good, not even graded on a Star Wars curve good but actually good. I can’t find the person who called it “Ken Loach’s Star Wars” but that one tweet alone sold it for me.
As usual, I am hopelessly behind and haven’t seen a minute of it though.
Other shows that look good
Serpent Queen (Starz) - a period drama about Catherine de Medici that breaks the fourth wall and has jokes maybe?
Vampire Academy (Peacock) - I’m so excited for this because I truly loved this book series back in the day. Vampires, who have different kinds of magic, are treated as royalty, and half-vampires, who have some advantages of speed and strength but not magic, serve as their bodyguards (sorry: guardians). Setting it in a high school, which may have actually been called Vampire Academy though I can’t remember for sure, emphasizes the inherent social hierarchy even more. The books and show follow Rose as she trains to eventually serve as guardian to her best friend Lissa. There is hot older guy romance and magic shenanigans and fights. YES it is ridiculous but take my word for it that the world-building is top notch.
The books were already adapted into what I understand was a truly awful movie, but the show is created by Julie Plec, who was the showrunner of Vampire Diaries for many years and knows her vampires and teen dramas.
Thai Cave Rescue (Netflix)- There have been so many Thai cave rescue adaptations lately that I’ve lost track, but let me take this opportunity to say that the documentary from last year The Rescue was one of the best movies I’ve seen in quite a while. I think it’s on Disney Plus.
I do not watch serial killer true crime stuff and I am absolutely not watching this
Monster (Netflix)
Me: Netflix spent a lot of money on their deal with Ryan Murphy so of course they’re going to promote his new show at every opportunity on the app
Also me: Netflix is autoplaying the Monster trailer directly after the Great British Bake Off because the algorithm thinks they’re both cooking shows
The only new show I was actually looking forward to
Reboot (Hulu) - a comedy about a woman whose attempt to reboot a cheesy ‘90s TV show into something gritty is complicated when the network forces the original creator onto the staff. This has the creator of Modern Family behind the camera and a cast featuring Rachel Bloom from Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Keegan-Michael Key, and Judy Greer, among others. It also has Paul Reiser, which would not have been a plus for me before I saw his turn as the dad on Red Oaks, a first-gen Amazon Prime show which I alone saw. Anyway, it’s pretty good but more sitcommy than I was expecting.
Other returning shows
Los Espookys (currently catching up on this and I love it), The Good Fight (good but exhausting), Ramy
I don’t usually do movies but I have to do this one movie
Do Revenge (Netflix) - hell, yeah. Strangers on a Train in high school but as an homage to 90s/00s teen movies